Philosophy

Two Useful Language Lessons from Dutch travellers I met this week. First, they told me there's no word in Dutch for "Sorry" and asked why people use that word in English so much. I have to admit that I don't really know WHY people use it. It's so passive-aggressive, quite often, or self-effacing... it often just brings the energy of everything lower. Some years ago I did a prolonged experiment of saying "Sorry" or "Thank you" when people stepped aside from me on the narrow bike/walking paths in Nova Scotia. If you say "sorry" the energy comes down. They're obliged to stop their conversation and say "oh, it's alright." Nobody has any fun with that. But when you say "thank you," they smile, they might say "you're welcome," they feel that their effort was appreciated by you, and the energy goes up. ***So. Rule 1. Say Thank you Instead of Sorry!!*** The second thing I learned was this: in...

Somebody asked me in the middle of the night last night, while I was sleeping: "What do you want?" It's a real blessing to have another person interested enough in you to ask that, isn't it? I thought about the answer while I watched the sunrise this morning. What do I want? WHAT DO I WANT? And I listened to my usual "manifest what you want" video  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQqdr2BCSyg and I thought more about what I want, and watched a video Naheed Nenshi shared about the questions to ask to be a good leader.  https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/16/05/good-questions?fbclid=IwAR12cCZocmAUQmfBDaJT9pyFQht2ZS9S5sTM4gCFfdSDeFEU9_UaM8xRAQc And I read an article from Pema Chodron about holding your seat in a storm. https://www.lionsroar.com/holding-your-seat-when-the-going-gets-rough/ And I realize that the main thing I want right now, and have quite a lot of it but I always want more, is thoughtful people. People who ask questions and think of others. People w...

I wrote this post 5 and a half years ago, after a mass layoff at a company we all loved, but now we're even more massively all in quarantine, and many of us have also been laid off. I thought this article might be helpful! Some of my colleagues who got laid off at the same time as me have been having a bit of a rough time with the roller coaster. After a chat one day, one of them said, "you should be a life coach!" Well, thank you for the compliment. In the meantime, I thought I might as well share some of the strategies that are working for me, and hope they help you too. Here are some things to keep your chin up and help you get ahead happily when you're laid off. Some days you might need one of the strategies and none of the others. Another day, you might cling gratefully to another. Being laid off is a roller coaster, but it has many pleasant treats along the way. Here’s my way to ride it. Things to go crazy on:  Your time is your own – treats abound! Take th...

Walking to the market today, I was remarking to Yarrow how I've picked up a habit my grandma used to have and I never understood: sometimes I won't spend money on me but I'll happily imagine I have the exact same money to spend on someone else. In this case it was the cinnamon buns with sort of chewy almost French pastry that the guy at the end spot in the Saturday market makes. I have bought one there every week since we arrived. Yarrow and I usually share one, partly because carbohydrates but also partly because Yarrow says "they're $4 each mom, two would be $8." Too right. But earlier this morning we stopped for coffee on the way to the market and there I was offering to bring the beautiful Australian barista one back. Because they're just so joyful you HAVE to share them. And then I noted to Yarrow about how I didn't understand it when my grandma did it but now I understand it. And he agreed that it does actually give you more pleasure out of th...

An interesting photo to reflect on in light of Plato's Allegory of the Cave to compare "the effect of education ( παιδεία ) and the lack of it on our nature. " I could summarize it for you, but instead, I leave you with the photo above and the Wikipedia article, which nicely summarizes this thought experiment by Plato. For me, the most striking and profound point of this comes when the prisoners try to leave the cave. Seeing the Sun, and reality, they experience too much pain, and so they prefer to return to looking at the reflected shadows on the cave wall, refusing to believe that the shadows are not reality. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allegory_of_the_Cave It explains why so many people don't want to see a better, less negative or fearful way of living. Emerging from the cave and seeing the sunlight, after so long believing in shadows on the wall, causes them too much pain.

My great-aunt and uncle turned 80 a few years ago, and they decided they had had enough snow and cold, so they decided to emigrate. To Mexico. Just like that. Faith. I thought, “what awesome people! I want to study them.” So off I went to Mexico too, to learn how they do Being So Awesome. Here is what I learned. Fortune favors the bold. Trusting in your own competence is key. Know you can. Don't worry about the stuff. Keep moving. If you give all your stuff away, it will come back when you need it anyway. Embrace the adventure. If you want more of someone, have what they want. Remember birthdays. Be joyful. 1. Fortune favors the bold. My great-aunt had never been to Mexico when they up and moved, lock, stock, and barrel. My great-uncle did go on a bit of a reconnaissance mission, but they did not dither. They set a plan, they organized the steps to get there, and they followed through. And now they are in a much lovelier house in a much cheaper pl...